"Hello, you're an asshole"

I'm lost in Absurdia. I wanted to write something meaningful, and I've been at it for a couple of days, but some factors around me have decided otherwise. Interruptions, lack of time, poor health and poor sleep have all joined forces to turn me into a slobbering zombie.

To survive a sudden & fierce attack of calls at work today, I had to drink lots of coffee, and even that coffee festival didn't chase away the humongous headache I've been suffering from since I woke up. I knew I should have stayed in bed.

I've been meaning to tell you about how much it sucks not to be able to attend the Rendez-Vous du Cinéma Québécois this year. I have nice memories from past editions : seeing 100% BIO with Serge Laprade, and asking Claude Gagnon countless questions about his filming experiences in Japan, a fascinating, isolated and unfortunately seldom known case in Quebec cinema.

My agenda is about to burst, so adding a few movies to it really wouldn't help. Although I am planning on not missing BURDEN OF DREAMS, a documentary about the filming of Herzog's FITZCARRALDO, when it plays for free at CCA on March 8th. I own a decrepit VHS of this title, so seeing a decent print of this promising feature isn't something I can pass on.

In other news, I am "trying" to eat better, without going to the extreme of a diet. I found out that I wasn't as flat-bellied as before, thanks to late night snacks and booze, and a "couldn't care less" attitude towards my many meals.



Thing is, I'm not so young anymore.

It's a sad revelation, believe me. What have you accomplished in all these years ? Close to nothing. I know it can be depressing to compare yourself to other, more hyperactive creators, but well, when I think about some overachievers and look back on what I've done over the years, I tend to label myself as a "slacker".

I don't like this term, as I don't usually like the sheer laziness that's associated with it. I work hard to pay my bills on time, you know. Having to work & study at the same time is one of the hardest things I have ever done. And still it's not enough. It's not enough for others, and it's not enough for me. Could it be that I'm asking too much ?

Let the good times roll. It often happens that people get sucked in by life and let their fate drift randomly in between sucky jobs & routine hobbies. This is the LAST thing I want to happen to me, you hear ?

If I ever become an annoying, mediocre no-brainer, please send me a message to wake me up. The content should read : "Hello, you're an asshole".

Not that I loathe being compared to a body part - because after all, an asshole is a many splendored thing when we come to think about it - but well, the asshole "label" still has some power. We're all assholes in a way, but it's never been a cool thing to hear when somebody is trying to describe you accurately.