This Native Love

Last time we spoke, I was daydreaming out loud about several amazing discoveries that changed the way the general public sees anthropology. I have since then read about numerous "old-school" wildlife expeditions and came to be progressively fascinated by what we used to call the "gentleman adventurer", an extinct erudite human species who once combined knowledge with muscles and action - and quite often an impressive family fortune to overcome the joys of employment.

I have asked myself if this type of occupation could nowadays be possible. Is there anything left to discover ? These "gentlemen adventurers" always brought, everywhere they went, this very strange and occidental way to see things, and some kind of self-sufficient attitude convincing them that only THEY were competent, hence the renaming of "discovered" territories already inhabited by natives for generations.



General history seems to drastically quiet the role of insurgents. In Leonie Sandercock's MAKING THE INVISIBLE VISIBLE, we are exposed to the superchery of planning history as written, for years, by white male practicians. A history written "from the inside". A history that leaves no place for human heroes such as blacks, latinos, asians, gays, lesbians, children... A history, then, glorificating the all-powerful planning as a discipline that can't be wrong and always is implemented with the community's best interest in mind.



Some research about the Island of Madagascar, a patch of land roughly bigger than France and slightly smaller than Saskatchewan with its 587 040 square kilometers, have lead me to believe that it was THE place to be right now. Its ancient status as a French colony leaves most of its inhabitants now speaking French. Its climate is mediteranean, and it is home to an impressive array of endangered tropical animals species. They have their own plants and their isolation hasn't, so far, lead them to be propagated elsewhere in Africa. Most of the urban planning has yet to be done, since the taux d'urbanisation is 30,10%... and it is one of the world's poorest countries, with a PIB of 830$ US. Are they in need of a saviour ? I would think so.



More seriously, the country's incertitudes is slowing down its development. The most gorgeous diamonds in the world can be dug in its soil. They joined the Africa Union only in 2002. Most travelers expressing the will to explore the jungles & beaches of Madagascar receive a warning : there can be chaos. Some delays might slow you down. And you have to be "young at heart", according to Cortez Travel & Expeditions, a group specialised in bringing americans to the island.



Which destination will win, between the extremely remote Easter Island, the mysterious and mind-numbing Madagascar, or a southern enigma at the extreme tip of Argentina, Ushuaia, Tierra del Fuego ? Cast your votes.

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I have to admit that the movies I watch aren't always picked with the highest level of carefulness. Many psychological reasons could be invoked, as well as pressure from the outside (that would be Miss Bijoux' impossible-to-fulfill appetite for cheap 80's slashers) and some errant thoughts from my part when the time comes to make the final choice.

It was at Boîte Noire then, once again, that I picked up a rather strange DVD : RETURN TO HORROR HIGH.



An IMDb user sums it up quite nicely : "Never heard of this. After seeing it I know why !". Sounds like the kind of tagline a communications agency could come up with, but it's basically what I thought too.

The story revolves around a group of filmmakers who, in 1987, rent out a school where some gruesome murders once took place, and shoot a movie about the incidents on the very same ground on which they took place. Of course, they start dying pretty fast. So there's... a film within a film, as the incidents are told after they happened, by one of the survivors. Different time & reality levels are mixed up, and this structural incertainty can keep you hooked for a bit but... it gets tiring.



There's almost no gore or nudity, and you KNOW that it is a requirement when shooting a slasher. Most of the actors try an over-the-top approach that doesn't quite prevent us from seeing it as lame. George Clooney is onscreen for a few minutes before getting hacked off. And the final surprise is so laughable and improbable that it puts the final nail in the coffin : that's it turd, you'll never be able to enter any DVD player, ever again.



Bill Froehlich, the director, didn't develop an impressive carreer after that. He wrote and co-produced some forgettable junk, and directed some of the FREDDY'S NIGHTMARES episodes in 1988.

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Just as I swore to myself that I wouldn't watch a Full Moon crapfest in a few years, after seeing two in a month, there I was, pushing the VHS tape of THE DEAD HAVE THE LIVING ! into my VCR and slapping my own ass at the same time.



Is it a coincidence or is it just faith ? This movie deals with the same basic idea that RETURN TO HORROR HIGH : a group of filmmakers, isolated in a disaffected hospital, and shooting - guess what - a horror movie, suddenly find out that they soon are going to be horror movie characters themselves. And once again, an IMDb comment comes in handy to describe the final result : "The living hate this movie".

So it goes like this : the director & his crew find some kind of coffin with a dead body inside. The brightest idea they can come up with is to include the body in their movie, "to make it look more authentic". Of course they end up resurrecting the poor fellow - who's a Rob Zombie lookalike - as well as opening a door to another dimension. Some zombies start hunting them... and boredom ensues.



There are a couple of interesting references here and there - at one point, the main actor is told that he could easily be "the next David Warbeck" and nobody else than the director and his special effects right-hand man seems to know who the hell that is - and the ending is a direct reference to Lucio Fulci's THE BEYOND, but other than that, it's sloppy amateur film-making at its best. There's a sexy script girl played by Jamie Donahue, and it's too bad she had such a short carreer, but the redeeming factors stop right there.



This one was given to me by my ex roommate at one point, and I don't remember what he told me about it while actually handing out the tape my way, but when I recently told him that I had watched it, he grimaced.