Getting my eyes back into their sockets

It's while eating Turkish cookies provided by Caron that I am writing these words, a not-so-sure sign that I am slowly bringing my life back into normal pace.  I had to make some choices, and among them an obvious one : to calm down.  As a human being, I can only do so much, and even though I am not Nietzsche's biggest fan I, for a moment, must have thought I was superhuman.



I'm through with long lists of all my responsibilities, as I must not be the only one around here to suffer from the over-achiever syndrome.  Let's just say that all the stuff I had to do couldn't fit inside a 24 hours day.  There are some things that I had to drop.  Regretfully, because I like being busy.  Now that some of my time can be regained, I honestly hope this blog will stop suffering from my lack of care.  It needs some life.  Some color.  Some mouth to mouth love.

I have two whole months of movies I've seen to narrate.  I am not going to retrospect all that went on in the rest of my life, in case some of you care, but let's just say that these two months almost feel like two YEARS.  When you do lots, time flies !  I have never understood people who complain that they have nothing to do or that they're "bored".  Boring, yes.  Boring to themselves and to the rest of the world.  They should stick together and bore themselves to death.  "I like to try everything at least once".  I like to slap your ass at least twice.  And a hundred million times if you scream.

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I have watched several VHS tapes recently, in a continuous effort to get rid of them afterwards.  I just think that since I have been, for years, hunting down these titles, and carrying them around every time I moved, I might as well do the extra effort of watching them before throwing them out.  Not doing so would render all my past efforts useless.  And my previous life as a movie geek aimless.  That is why you might find, on this blog, several surprising or unusual titles.  Bear in mind that I am an extremely perverse individual.  And that if any of the titles I am discussing tickles your fancy, I'll be more than happy to hand out the tape to you if it still is in my possession when you finally do request it.

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Tobe Hooper has not been known, lately, for his bright decisions.  He may be in a difficult corner, forced to work on worthless junk for a living, but well, if he choses to do so, he exposes himself to criticism.  There is a screening copy of his masterpiece, CROCODILE, that happened to be on a shelf that's exposed to the everyday glance, and so it had to happen that my eyes caught it, and made the tape slide into the crack of my VCR as if it flew there by himself.



The problem with most of the "big creature attacking not-so-innocent campers" sub-genre is that the creatures are usually not, because of the budget allowed to this type of production, scary or realistic.  It makes the film campy, of course, but when there's nothing else than the bad effects to be made fun at, the "campiness" is the only thing left that's good, and even this is bad.  So the CGI crocodile that stalks brainless teens here is kinda pathetic, as is the actor's coaching and their dialogues.  This is basically the perfect example of a completely empty film based strictly on cheap entertainment, with no redeeming qualities.  I wouldn't be surprised if there were sequels - lots of 'em.

There is not even a hint of sexual excitement in the teenager's adventures, as the actresses are rather average and don't show much.  The males, though, are all muscular and hairless, and wear heavy make-up.  Could it be that Hooper wanted to reverse the usual roles and incorporate male bimbos instead of female ones ?  I doubt it.